This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
