We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
