I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
