i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
