sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
