You surviving the open bar?
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he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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