we made out on top of his cat.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
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All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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