my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
