I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
