You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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