so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
