You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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