Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize