I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
