Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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