so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
