So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
