Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Someone shattered a urinal.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
