If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
