Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
