Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
