His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
