eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Randomize