We won't sleep together?
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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