I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
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