You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
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