He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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