I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize