its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
