I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
