I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
