Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
