Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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