The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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