I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
