ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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