So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
