U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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