i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Enjoy the penises
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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