I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
