Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
