You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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