were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Randomize
