One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize