I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Randomize
