Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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