Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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