so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
