thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
