so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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