I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
