her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
