Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I need help removing her.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
