New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Randomize
