i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize
