We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
