were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
