Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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