I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
