we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
