I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
